The class I was buggin’ out about on Wednesday was a pleasant surprise. This is where I typically beat myself up via tumblr and scrutinize my mistakes, but not today. It went really well! Holla! I used two exclamation points in a row there, so you know I’m really happy. It was a small class, I figured out the general Hatha sequencing, made a few tweaks to what I had, worked the room making necessary adjustments, and felt like I actually taught the students something. I enjoyed teaching for the first time. Usually I’m overly stressed and focus on being the perfect teacher. I forget it’s not about me, at all. I even had a yoga virgin in the class, which was a fun (can’t think of a better word and I’m too lazy to look into it.)
This is what I had hoped teaching would be like, but my first few classes have been rough. I’m going to keep it real: It takes every ounce of courage I have to speak in front of people and teach them a sequence. I am completely wiped out after it, emotionally, because I’m so crazy afraid and panicked before, during, and after. I know that’s sad, but I have mental problems. For me to actually let go of my fear for 75 minutes, just relax and enjoy myself, while sharing something that I love with others, was intensely centering.
Shit. I’m getting a little sappy. I’m sure all of this positivity will be gone in a day or two, but for now, Damn the Man, I’m going to enjoy it and frolic somewhere with fragrant green grass, wildflowers galore, and maybe a forest. Or as the Germans call places like this, a “meadow.” *
* I don’t really know the etymology of meadow. I threw that in there.